A sense of clarity

So my last blog that I attempted to write last week was deleted as I was finishing it up. Talk about PISSED OFF!! I literally prayed that it was saved and would come back... well that didn't happen. I then thought to myself well maybe that blog wasn't supposed to be shared and that was God's way of stopping me.

One thing about my blogs is that they come off the top of my head. When I sit down to write I always have a motive; there is some kind of message that I want to share but it is never complete. It works better for me to just type away and then go through everything and organize my random thoughts.

I am such a random person... I think of the oddest things at the most random times and more than likely if someone is around me I will let it all out. It's why I love to be able to come to my blog and just express myself. No holding back just telling you what I think and what is weighing on my heart. Take it or leave it... either way I don't care.

I couldn't begin to tell you where my last blog began and where it ended. I'm pretty sure this blog will entail a few things that were in my last blog because if I thought that way then I more than likely feel the same way today....


My main priority is focusing on my journalism career. This journey has been hard, long(Still going), good on some days, bad on others and just plain old STRESSFUL. From not having time off for myself, school loans and bills, sometimes it feels as if life is just piling up on me. Then I have to tell myself I am NOT the only person in this kind of situation. I have to be thankful that I can focus on just myself.

Focusing on ME was probably the best thing I could have done for myself this year. That included me removing myself from different situations that I just didn't feel good about anymore. Some things were harder to do than others but today I can say that all of it was necessary.

I'm still learning new things about myself... things that I like and things I don't. Some things I used to do I have no interest in doing anymore. Of course, that is life and it is called growing; everyone goes through it -- its just a matter of when and how.

Back in September I stumbled across an opportunity to do freelance reporting for In Community Magazine, a family-oriented, informative community magazine. The communities cover Western Pennsylvania; places like Woodland Hills, Penn Hills, McKeesport, Murrysville and Irwin are a few places where I have covered stories. This opportunity couldn't have come at a better time. On top of my TV news aspirations I have a love of writing. The BIG dream is to one day be able to submit stories to magazines like, Essence. Although I have some time before I get to that place in my life there is nothing wrong with dreaming, it ads to my dream that my freelance career has started.

Over the past 4 or 5 months I have probably been tried the most thus far in my life. I know that I am being tested and I pray to God EVERYDAY to keep me sane and humble. Becoming sure of myself and the things that I am pursuing has built my confidence even more. I learned when you have people or things around you that brings you down you have to learn how to let go or you'll never grow. Staying where I am now is NOT an option. This moment in my life is a stepping stone and every lesson that has come my way I have taken a lot of mental notes and I use them on a daily basis. As my mom always tells me don't let people get the best of me and to always be myself.

I speak my mind and standing up for myself is never a question. At times I feel I have been put in positions where people may not have expected me to speak up and say what is on my mind. All I ask for is respect because I give respect to everyone. When that boundary is crossed it never ends good. Learning to pick my battles has been key to a lot of the decisions I have made this year. Some things are better left unsaid.

All in all I feel a sense of clarity at the current moment. I have a set of things that I am working on and that is all I can put my focus on. Anything or anyone that distracts me from the goals I am trying to reach can have a first class ticket out of my life.

It's that simple.